Subject: GOODTIMES VIRUS WARNING
Date: Sun, 20 Apr 1997 18:31:47 -0500
Hey all, here's a warning about a particularly nasty virus ...
>>>Subject: Final warning about the "Good Times" virus
>>>
>>> READ THIS:
>>>
>>> Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but
>>> it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It
>>> will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
>>> cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
>>> cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field
>>> harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.
>>>
>>> It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It
>>> will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and
>>> leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming
>>> over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit
>>> pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
>>>
>>> Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will
>>> give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your
>>> gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your
>>> girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to
>>> your Discover card.
>>>
>>> It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she
>>> is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the
>>> grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
>>>
>>> It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't
>>> find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on
>>> your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It
>>> is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather
>>> interesting shade of mauve.
>>>
>>> Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the
>>> toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub
>>> and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
>>> gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
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From: meta@-----.com (mathew)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: EMAIL VIRUS WARNING
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 1997 10:17:14 -0500
Organization: Otter Obsessives Anonymous
Lines: 45
Message-ID: <meta-2603971017140001@acid.harlequin.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: acid.harlequin.com
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X-Files: The Truth Is Out There
If anyone receives e-mail entitled: PINK LASER BEAMS!
please delete it WITHOUT reading it.
This is a warning for all Internet users. There is a
dangerous subliminal mind control message propagating
across the Internet via e-mail. This message appears
to be an innocent joke comparing operating systems to
different kinds of pedigree spaniel. However, by the
time you read the joke, it is too late. A subliminal
message has been implanted in the text by the NSA via
alien linguistic technology, discovered in the downed
UFO at Roswell.
It is a self-replicating memetic virus, and when your
mind is exposed to it, you will AUTOMATICALLY believe
any bizarre e-mailed chain letter which warns of dire
consequences, no matter how IMPROBABLE. You will NOT
stop to ask anyone knowledgable, but will IMMEDIATELY
and COMPULSIVELY forward the chain letter to hundreds
of people.
The virus will then make you DESTROY your hard drive,
and the hard drive of ANYONE you have sent e-mail to.
It will re-program your VCR, making the time flash at
12:00, and won't allow you to watch anything but QVC.
The virus is written in Java, and because of this can
also spread to your coffee machine and grinder. YOUR
mug contains DECAF, and it's THEIR fault.
Please forward the message titled EMAIL VIRUS WARNING
as soon as you receive it. DO NOT look at it, DO NOT
consider its plausibility. Just pass copies to every
single person you know, so that the problem of e-mail
chain letters can be stopped.
You may, however, pause to admire how nicely the text
is right-justified.
mathew
--
The Truth Is Out There: Aug Nov Dec Jan | mathew
MacOS market share is climbing: 6.7% 7.8% 9.5% 11.2% | meta@po......
...as x86 market share falls: 92% 91% 89% |
-- see <URL:http://www.ci.zd.com/news/macos.html> |
Created 3/24/98.
Return to sender.